So Valerie has been sick. No, no. Really sick. How sick you ask? Well, she has bronchitis, a sinus infection, and pink eye … all at the same time. She is pretty much in quarantine in the bedroom. The couch has been my bed for the week. And to top things off, today was our three-year anniversary. I’m sure this is not what Valerie had in mind when they said “in sickness and in health.” She was probably leaning toward the “health” part.

So what does this mean for the “team” part in “Team Bonilla?” Since Jacob can’t really be exposed to Valerie, he has been without his mother for the week. And since I am the one that is primarily interacting with our son, I have to be very careful as I am trying to take care of Valerie. That means a lot of washing my hands — to the point where they started cracking and bleeding from all of the washing I was doing — and keeping my distance while trying to do things for her. And Jacob misses his mommy. You can tell. He gets so happy at the mere glimpse of her and is often looking around for her when he hears her. Sometimes looking around for her even when he has not heard her for a while and saying “Ma ma ma ma.”

In the meantime, this situation has made me (somewhat of) a single parent. So that means waking up early, trying to get cleaned up before he wakes up, feeding him once he wakes up, packing up his stuff for daycare, dropping him off, then taking care of Valerie while trying to get at least a few minutes of work in (which means no big projects — just answering emails from advertising clients), running errands, doing anything that needs to be done around the house, picking up Jacob from daycare (which really is the highlight of my day), sometimes forgetting something at daycare and having to go back to get it (haven’t forgotten Jacob yet!), giving Jacob a bottle, spending some quality time with my little man, playing toys with him, feeding him dinner, putting him to bed, doing his laundry, cleaning his dishes, and anything else my family may need. I even gave Jacob a bath all by myself tonight. I had never done that alone. All of this has given me an increased appreciation for everything that Valerie does for our family each and every day. She works so hard for us and is an amazing wife and an unbelievable mother.

I know this situation is really tough on Valerie. She wants to spend time with us, but can’t. But she is strong and working hard to get better and it is up to Jacob and I to support her in any way she needs. Not just during this tough week, but going forward. She is 10 times the parent that I am and, even now, I always rely on her for advice and support.

And to say that I have been doing this completely on my own is not really true. We have a great support group. Valerie’s parents are always around to lend some needed support, and they have. It is great being near family.

My time flying solo will eventually end. Right now, it is kind of a blast. ¬†Hard, but still fun. Of course, I don’t know that i would be able to do it long-term. So to all of you single parents who have done it for years, I am so much respect for you. You are stronger than I.


“Foot. Nom nom.”